Conflict magnifies and illuminates who you are. It seizes and startles you into seeing what makes you uncomfortable. It pushes your boundaries -- intellectual, emotional, and physical. Conflict, if treated properly, offers the chance to change your mind altogether.
When faced with conflict, explore the possibility that opposing forces can both be true simultaneously. Taking this perspective immediately dissolves animosity and piques curiosity. You find yourself wondering, "Whats their truth? Where is the value on their side?" When you finally give up the belief that yours is the only truth, it changes the game forever. Now you're in a position to see what new truth you can create together.
I recently came across these lines in the book Change the Way You See Everything through Asset-based Thinking (page 73 - Make Opposition Matter). These lines strongly resonated with me because they describe the attitude that I have consistently seen in the most effective product managers. When faced with conflict, these product managers:
- don't squelch their curiosity. they do try their best to understand what the other person is saying and why
- don't feel the compulsion to be right. they do feel the compulsion to do whats right, based on their new insights
- don't view the process as adversarial. they do view it as an opportunity to make their product better than they had imagined by themselves
Managing conflict is an integral part of a product manager's job description. So the next time you are facing conflict, do what effective product managers do - your users will thank you for it.
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